Hello.
I wish I could just start again.
Just rewind and have another go... I've clearly screwed up this time.
For a while now, I've been wondering if I belong here. Not here here, here as in, like, here and now. You know. Alive. Surviving. What gives me the right to be here when so many others are either dead or have signed up for Zombie Academy (or Britain's Got Maggots? or The X-Virus? or Infection Infection Infec... Oh, forget it.)? Other people would be coping a lot better with the 'social' side of the apocalypse, and might even make friends under these terrible circumstances... I just... don't belong.
I'm not much of a people person. Never have been. I prefer screens and pictures to faces and flesh. I'm what most people would call antisocial. It's probably the only reason I'm here now, yet now it's the main reason I don't want to be here... I don't do what normal people do.
Most survivors spend their evenings talking, or having a few drinks, or, um... you know... getting some late-night exercise... but I'm not like that. I have never spoken if there was an option to write. I have never tried alcohol because I fear what it will do to me. I have never... um... engaged in such activities because I can't do either of the other two and people don't seem to like me... I'm a boring, shy, unadventurous virgin with no hope of an enjoyable future because I'm too scared to try anything.
So something has definately gone wrong, I'm sure you'd agree.
Which is why I would reverse time in an instant and do everything differently. I hate everything about myself and the way I've turned out. I really don't deserve life at all. If this 'living' was a game, I would have quit by now. How did it end like this?
Now, I know what you're thinking... "Come on Murray, have some self esteem now that humanity as we used to know it is in ruins around us. Times are different now there are infected corpses running around everywhere!"
Well, let me stop you there. Are they? Are the times really different? Before the outbreak, I would have avoided people like they were the undead. Now I avoid people because they are the undead. Even survivors. I haven't adapted to the situation at all, I'm just staying the same... Hey, you know what they say about leopards!
They say leopards are whiney, dull, immature, paranoid, unadventurous, hopeless losers of animals who should either kill themselves or just leave the other members of the big cat family alone for ever.
...Or was it something about spots?
Look, I'm sorry this was my 'I'm depressed' blog. I'll get over it.
Maybe.
REMAIN INDOORS