Hey there!
I'm fine, thanks for asking! You know, it is so nice to hear good old-fashioned manners again!
It's just so rare for zombies to be polite!
Brilliant. Well, you know what's pissing me off at the moment?
Only the fucking post-apocalypse postal service! Mr. Mailman? Y u no deliver my shit?
Useless lot... They have access to all the armored vehicles and weapons in the country, and they still can't get me my post on time!
God damn. I am anxiously awaiting my survival equipment, while they're just LOLing about with a pile of UMP-45s.
Hey, I'm relying on you guys to essentially keep me alive! If I order a spiral poster, I expect to recieve it within like a week!
Tut tut tut... I am disappoint.
Moving on though, I realised something epic today!
Oh, just wait until you hear this! So, you know how pre-outbreak, people were all like "Aargh! Copyrights!"
Right, well... Since all those rich, selfish bastards are (un)dead now, everything is free!
Everything! Music, films, games... Anything that you had to pay copyrights for are now infringement-free!
Illegality kinda died off with the rest of the world, and now there's nobody around who cares about it anymore.
Cool, eh? I guess that counts as a perk for this apocalypse... Free digital crap! I'm not complaining!
Essentially, the tradeoff is ultimate devaluation of all goods for 90% of the worlds humans...
Come on! A lifetimes worth of entertainment to make up for a shitty lifetime seems pretty reasonable to me!
Ruin my remaining existance, zombies? I demand infinite DVD-quality movies!
Ehehehe! ...I am so lucky to be in this situation now... If I was like this when the world wasn't infected, I'd be a right arse.
Ah well... Desperate times, yadda yadda.
Meet you here again tomorrow? Awesome!
REMAIN INDOORS