Hullo.
In case you were wondering, those things bite. Don't go near them. Right, that's the Google-enabled amnesiacs sorted...
I can't help feeling there are more survivors than we know, just a lot of them are in comas in hospitals...
Hey, that NHS 'lock the door then push the key underneath' initiative really payed off, eh?
Anyways...
Very excited for my big milestone coming up. I might even do a small woop IRL. Shame you'll probably miss that.
Everything excites me. Is that a bad thing?
An easter egg... In the shape of a chicken... With... MINI EGGS INSIDE?!?
Fuck! Who came up with that? Genius! GENIUS!!
Oh wow... There's an example right there. Nobody should swear and use CAPS LOCK about chocolate shapes...
Real gentlemen never use CAPS LOCK. They rip the key right off their typewriters, and use Shift only!
Mmm... That reminds me... 'Typewriter' is the longest word you can write using the top row of a qwerty keyboard!
Sorry. That's got nothing to do with the undead...
People of the apocalypse! Find a riot shield! Useful for bashing your way through a crowd of 'em, defending yourself, etc.
Riot shields can be found at abandoned Police stations, or on dead policemen. Whichever's more convenient.
I must warn you though, survivors have run millions of computer simulations, and this shield bash is never a one hit kill...
No, I tell a lie... It's a OHKO if your hardcore. Yeah, that's right! How overpowered!
Good lord, look at the time! I should be in beddy-byes!
Don't worry, that is a joke... honest...
Okay, so, tonight's homework is to dream about a zombie-free world... If you can.
There's no punishment if you don't do it, I mean, you can't make yourself dream, but it would be nice...
Making all that horror dissolve away... A perfect world without those lumbering idiots...
Every night, I wish I could live in a dream... And then I wake up. Awake 'n' the dead? Ha!
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