Hey, am I trying to hard?
I'm sorry, where was I? Ah, yes... HOORAY!
Find out why I'm so pleased at the next training session... Otherwise, yeah. I'm happy. That'll do for now.
I should probably be out socialising at the three-legged zombie conversion ritual, but to be honest, I prefer doing nothing.
Not that I can't see the appeal of deliberately getting bitten, I mean, I guess it takes the pressure off...
It's just I'm scared to die. Is that too unreasonable? I don't believe in any kind of afterlife, especially not if you become infected.
So yeah, to those of you on the 'pub crawl' this evening, good luck on the other side... I don't believe there's anything there...
Have a nice death!
Exaggeration is my middle name. Actually, it's PERSON WHO EXAGGERATES MASSIVELY Maynard. True story.
Dick is my middle name, actually if you care. Yep. Dick is my middle name... Does that explain anything for you?
Today is the 278th day of the year. At least, that's as far as I've counted. Which makes today... October 5th?
How did humanity forget the date? I mean, to be fair, we did have other things to deal with, but y'know. Time is important.
Everybody needs to know the time... Like, don't go outside after 7pm, it's when the zombies are more active... What time is it?
Remain indoors all the time! Ha ha! It was a trick question!
Ever think about which sport is most useful in the undead apocalypse? Not football, that's for sure. Nor rugby, interestingly.
Volleyball? Nope. Cricket? Sadly not. Tennis? Ooh, close! Squash? Not quite! Badminton? Yeah! There we go!
It's perfect. It teaches you all the survival skills you need, firstly, it's an indoor sport, second, it trains your agility.
Every zombie you encounter can be outmaneuvered if you know a bit of footwork, except maybe the running zombies...
Well, that's my alotted amount of letters, see if you can survive until tomorrow, when I might do more typing.
REMAIN INDOORS