Howdy!
I know I'm not going to be able to do a blog as good as yesterday's one, so if you're reading this for the first time, just scroll down...
I knew it! I knew you'd keep reading! Maybe you've already read the one below, or you figured you may as well read this post first!
Aha! Well if you've made it 4 lines in, you may as well keep going then, eh?
My self esteem is all over the place at the moment. It's somehow simultaneously both at its maxiumum, and the lowest I've ever had.
Um, here are some of my thoughts, digitally immortalised via the medium internet blogging...
So, if I want a girlfriend to see me through this apocalypse, I should probably change everything about myself... Kill me at the moment.
Everyone knows the 'boyfriend traits', or at least the Hollywood ones: Good looks, sporty, aggressive, ability to drink a lot...
Look at me! I'm none of those things! Sporty... Maybe, I do play badminton, but that means nothing if I'm compared to fucking rower!
Everything that embodies desirability, I seem to lack or even oppose. I have not once drunk alcohol... How appealing is that?!
So, my conclusion is, if I have to essentially kill myself in order to lose my virginity, I'll just die alone.
Seriously, it's too much of a sacrifice. (You heard it here first, bitches, I'm a self-concerned cunt just like the rest of them!)
While I find girls I know physically attractive (the non-infected ones, I mean), it doesn't mean I find them socially attractive...
I mean, take Wednesday night for instance... I set off with the impression I would rescue the girl, and maybe enjoy the party!
The actual outcome? I spent the evening hating myself for going, and wondering what would have happened if my plan had worked.
Have a great time, save the princess, maybe ask her out, she says yes, the next day, she wants to go clubbing again... And again...
Great job there, Murray. Your ideal scenario just turned into a nightmare where the worst evening of your life goes on forever!
I don't mean clubbing by the way. I of course mean zombie grinding. Where you get drunk and just grind up against a zombie.
Realistically, how much more am I going to enjoy life if I can make out with a beautiful female survivor if it means nearly dying nightly?
Look, I am exaggurating. I'm sure it isn't ALL bad. People must enjoy it for a reason. It's just, I don't think it suits me.
Sorry, Juliet, but I think that I'm better suited to someone a little bit less fun.
REMAIN INDOORS