Heard gunshots outside a few minutes ago.
It was only some sane people killing themselves. Nothing to be afraid of. Those suicidal bastards can't hurt me.
Everyone wondering what's happening with all this 'I can't convince girls to sleep with me' depressing stuff, that is actually happening.
The zombie apocalypse is going on at the same time... Which is why in some ways, it's even more important to... AHEM... Repopulate.
I'm sorry if it's not been zombie-y enough for you recently, I aim to correct this... It's just I've recently lost all hope for sex.
Don't worry, there will be blood, terror, sarcasm and undead updates tomorrow, especially since now I no longer have to spend time WOOING.
REMAIN INDOORS