Jan 01 (1)

DAY #365

Halcyon days! Back when there were zombies everywhere... Now there are people... I'm going to set myself on fire as soon as I'm done writing this last post... I promise!
I'm a hopeless case... I don't stand a bastard of a chance! Maybe against the dead, but not the living... I'm so useless I might as well b-burn.
T Y! U R very kind to still be reading... May I suggest you return to the actual universe while you still can and have a lovely life socialising and fucking. (And forgive the 1337)
Hi! Right... Sorry about that... I shouldn't moan at the end. You are alright really! In fact, you're a lot better than the rest of them! My thanks for reading my last words.
Alas, my life is at an end... I'll use this medium for my last time... So let me tell you about my life, and if you wish, consider this DAY my eulogy...
Nintendo was a big part of my life... I mainly liked playing Pokemon... Ah, the good old days before the undead... Can you remember how you felt when you heard about the outbreak?
Kk, oh, um... So the dead have returned to walk the earth? You have to run or hide unless you want to be undead meat? I have some advice, out of date advice but whatever...
Sew a Poliwhirl t-shirt for yourself! Make it have a huge spiral! Keep you safe if the undead ever come back one day! ...And they're super cool!
FYI, nobody has ever died in a Poliwhirl shirt... I knew loads of pointless crap like that ... About Japan, movies, computer games, I... I guess it was a skill!
O...OK...K I'm stuttering a bit now... I suppose it's b...because of my imminent death... Escaspe! I meant to say escape! I'll ascend from this tragic place.
Run/shoot/hide was my entire life. I...I can't do this new shit! I just want to be alone with my useless knowledge... Say, for example, the top 5 Japanese characters;
R...Rilakkuma is 5th, Tarepanda 4th, Hello Kitty in 3rd, then Pikachu in at 2nd,  and number one is Anpanman. There you go! Now do you see why I've got to die? More proof?
E.g. tell me one line from Southland Tales, and I'm able to give you the next five! OK, enough examples... You hate my guts already! Why not talk about human beings?
Aim guns at the head of humans... Destroy the brain, or they might survive! Oh, and even though there aren't any zombies, using rope ladders is still a good idea!
DGYIMJFTYH... Sorry, my hands just had a spasm... I suppose they're just scared. B...But I've got to die one day, why should I p...prolong the end any longer?
IGN! That's a good website! Oh, and WatchOP.com! Also Smogon, Serebii.net and tehPARADOX... Those are my final reccommendations to give before I go!
N.L... O, fucking N.LChem... If they hadn't started making that Fosinopril, I might not be burning myself tonight! A...As it turns out, I am... Everyone, pay attention, this is it...
Get a lighter and the petrol... Done. Pour the super-flammable liquid... Done. Light the flame, and experince a burning pain, and then death! I'll light it at midnight...
X... Send in the New Year with fireworks! You've been a great audience, I appreciate it! It's almost time... Thanks people, let us count down to my fire at will! 9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...